Quote:
1 minute ago, heavyhorse said:
As threelegs pointed out, it's NOT something you "do". Today or one day. That's impossible, unless you have unlimited resources.
It's realizing one day that you're serious (OK, already done). Then it's just considering each little choice of your life, that moves incrementally toward your goal. Do you need a new car? My (well-maintained) truck is decades old. Didn't get HD TV until amazon had 39" class under $200. Refurb computer. NO iPhone. Or contract (that's about $2000 right there). No gaming system. No Starbucks. Haven't been to a movie theater this decade; wait for it on TV. These are things that aren't important to me; your unimportant distractions are for you to decide.
Then what job choices move you toward a place out of the city? Do you need a yearly travel vacation? Or is time with your animals better? Can your job skills be applied from home? And yeah, lose the credit card debt, that's just a black hole.
My point is, it's a LOT of little individual choices, each moving a bit closer to where you want to be. Today's frustration? Um, no. But making progress . . . .
That's a process where we transform desires into goals and channel our energy into accomplishing those goals. Generically, it's called "growing up".
06-10-2018, 05:52 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-10-2018, 05:54 PM by Cat.)
Quote:
2 hours ago, heavyhorse said:
As threelegs pointed out, it's NOT something you "do". Today or one day. That's impossible, unless you have unlimited resources.
It's realizing one day that you're serious (OK, already done). Then it's just considering each little choice of your life, that moves incrementally toward your goal. Do you need a new car? My (well-maintained) truck is decades old. Didn't get HD TV until amazon had 39" class under $200. Refurb computer. NO iPhone. Or contract (that's about $2000 right there). No gaming system. No Starbucks. Haven't been to a movie theater this decade; wait for it on TV. These are things that aren't important to me; your unimportant distractions are for you to decide.
Then what job choices move you toward a place out of the city? Do you need a yearly travel vacation? Or is time with your animals better? Can your job skills be applied from home? And yeah, lose the credit card debt, that's just a black hole.
My point is, it's a LOT of little individual choices, each moving a bit closer to where you want to be. Today's frustration? Um, no. But making progress . . . .
I literally have all of that sorted out, my finances are good regardless I don't make a lot; the real deal breaker is time, I need to move first, find a place, that somehow I can afford, then I need to figure out how to get the dog and hopefully ensure I get a match, but first I need some paperwork done, which is insaneeeeeeee, I am an immigrant, and can only be done next year, without it getting a dog is downright risky; I even figure ways to avoid paxing taxes and stuff.
Zoo urges are simply seemingly not following any logic, it's just raw desire; it is indeed the drive to do things, but it's also a harsh thing to deal with all the time.
06-10-2018, 06:23 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-10-2018, 06:35 PM by heavyhorse.)
Yes it is. And even if you're not an immigrant. The banking industry and real estate industry base their entire business model on making "closing" take, on average, 2 years, even after you find your purchase and sign for it. There's a saying: "The airplane will never fly until the weight of the paperwork exceeds the weight of the aircraft"; you can adapt this for most endeavors. The point I strive to make is that there is no big secret "thing" or "way" that previous generations are trying to hide from "the impatience of youth". For anything, not just having a dog or being with a horse. Pretty much always even when there is some Big Break, it was preceded by a sh*tload of little things, work/luck/research/endurance. And a healthy dose of butting your head against a stone wall. Maybe that's why, as you've often pointed out, we're all Old o . O (thank you so much for that!)
In the meantime there's pretty much no cure for having to take cold showers. Strenuous labor takes the edge off. Hercules got to shovel out the stables. With "rewards".
https://www.zoowg.net/topic/222-asterion/
06-10-2018, 06:41 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-10-2018, 06:42 PM by zemlya.)
I've read through numerous writings of zoos over the course of their life about their experiences. There is one story that is most frequent, that I can recall, although it may be colored by my own interests. It goes like this:
Stage #1: "Hey guys, I can't believe it but I'm finally going to suck off and get rammed by an alpaca. I can hardly wait to get to get such a powerful beast to have his way with me." follows up with a lot of similar posts, in intense anticipation.
Stage #2: "The males were nice, but I really like the females.. ooh they are so good." Repeats a bunch of times, to anyone who brings up the subject about their favorite animal, position, etc.
Stage #3: They semi-disappear off the internet for a long while
Stage #4: "Man guys, I'm so depressed. Anyone else feel that way? Maybe it's because we are such outsiders and no one understands us."
Everyone's story is different, but I see some common threads, and that line of progression is common. Stage #4 can be reached in multiple ways, loneliness is common, and may be caused by some underlying condition led to stage #2, such as communication issues, which may have led to an interest in animals instead of people, but also a lack of interest in what other people like, and interest in things that others do not care about, such as an intense appreciation for egg cartons and the materials they can be made of, the cost vs crush resistance of various shapes and sizes, etc. Lol! Of course communication problems aren't the only thing, and there are numerous reasons why a person can attach more to animals than people, but that's one of the more frequent reasons, from what I've seen, again colored by the kind of people whose communications have crossed my path someway somehow.
Anyhow, I'm not intending to imply that you would necessarily end up in the exact same situation, but I do see that kind of story repeat. Fantasies are just that, they never exactly turn out the way they seem sometimes, but they aren't necessarily unpleasant when played out either.
Quote:
1 minute ago, zemlya said:
Anyhow, I'm not intending to imply that you would necessarily end up in the exact same situation, but I do see that kind of story repeat. Fantasies are just that, they never exactly turn out the way they seem sometimes, but they aren't necessarily unpleasant when played out either.
Except that I had my fair try of trying to force myself to be into humans and failing miserably each time; regardless how nice people were with me, how good they were to me, which in fact has made me hate myself for having to cut them out because I can't fall in love for them.
I am not some form of outcast, I have nice friends; I've just been like this since ever, so well, there's nothing I can do in all honestly.
Quote:
22 minutes ago, heavyhorse said:
Yes it is. And even if you're not an immigrant. The banking industry and real estate industry base their entire business model on making "closing" take, on average, 2 years, even after you find your purchase and sign for it. There's a saying: "The airplane will never fly until the weight of the paperwork exceeds the weight of the aircraft"; you can adapt this for most endeavors. The point I strive to make is that there is no big secret "thing" or "way" that previous generations are trying to hide from "the impatience of youth". For anything, not just having a dog or being with a horse. Pretty much always even when there is some Big Break, it was preceded by a sh*tload of little things, work/luck/research/endurance. And a healthy dose of butting your head against a stone wall. Maybe that's why, as you've often pointed out, we're all Old o . O (thank you so much for that!)
In the meantime there's pretty much no cure for having to take cold showers. Strenuous labor takes the edge off. Hercules got to shovel out the stables. With "rewards".
https://www.zoowg.net/topic/222-asterion/
It is just so different when you act on dead logic than when you act on nonsensical urges; love is such a nonsensical thing, and it's something that is hard to cost benefit, and that you always wonder whether you are doing it right; not indeed, I am working on it, but am I hurrying it up? am I doing it too slow?... I can't tell, I have no dad to ask experience for, I have none that can help me figure it out, and this community is the closest thing I have to gather experience from and ideas and I am very thankful for I mean, I probably would have never considered a dog as a partner otherwise, and I'd have probably be more interested in horses until I figured they were not my thing; the urges sometimes just get on the way, because they want an animal right here right now and makes me lose focus.
Quote:
8 minutes ago, Cat said:
Except that I had my fair try of trying to force myself to be into humans and failing miserably each time; regardless how nice people were with me, how good they were to me, which in fact has made me hate myself for having to cut them out because I can't fall in love for them.
I am not some form of outcast, I have nice friends; I've just been like this since ever, so well, there's nothing I can do in all honestly.
One can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely.
Anyway, that account is mainly a stereotype of what I've seen, from multiple sources mixed together into a whole. Zoos are more "bisexual" with animals than humans, which means in practice, male zoos (virtually all zoos are male), are more interested in male animals than male humans by far, and seemingly engage with sexual acts with a male animal before they attempt anything with a female, perhaps because the males are "always horny" and always ready to go. They aren't really always horny, but they are generally more sexually receptive at any particular time than females. The disappearing from the internet is probably from having finally experiencing something of that nature and they lose interest in zoo boards, and other forums of related topics. Loneliness is a part of the whole thing, there's a lot at the end of the story, at least as far as internet writings go, but perhaps there was some unspoken loneliness at the beginning too.
06-10-2018, 07:10 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-10-2018, 07:14 PM by Cat.)
Quote:
7 minutes ago, zemlya said:
One can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely.
Anyway, that account is mainly a stereotype of what I've seen, from multiple sources mixed together into a whole. Zoos are more "bisexual" with animals than humans, which means in practice, male zoos (virtually all zoos are male), are more interested in male animals than male humans by far, and seemingly engage with sexual acts with a male animal before they attempt anything with a female, perhaps because the males are "always horny" and always ready to go. They aren't really always horny, but they are generally more sexually receptive at any particular time than females. The disappearing from the internet is probably from having finally experiencing something of that nature and they lose interest in zoo boards, and other forums of related topics. Loneliness is a part of the whole thing, there's a lot at the end of the story, at least as far as internet writings go, but perhaps there was some unspoken loneliness at the beginning too.
I had sexual experiencies with females mostly when I was younger, not of very close nature, just horny cats; once I got a horny male cat in my hands and learned it was my thing, I always had that idea but wasn't sure of it until then; but also I've had actual sex with humans, which I kinda regret now, not that I truly regret it but I didn't enjoy it, in fact one of the guys, who knew I had an interest in animals told me; "I believe you would be better off with animals, you were thinking of them all the time weren't you? I am glad I had this chance either way"; I tried so hard to be with humans, hell I changed my gender on the hopes to be with humans because I felt more comfortable as female and I do good as female, and they were lovely guys; this is why I feel myself as a zoo with no hope, I tried every trick in the book.
I don't really feel lonely, I only hope nevertheless that one could talk freely, because once one makes close friends, it hurts to lie to them all the time about your intentions; like I made a new close friend, been knowing each other for about a year, been talking shit, and he already suspects I have something for animals, like I said once, people perceive those kind of things when you have someone you build a friendship with, at best, it is pretty shitty having to lie all the time, because the closest one person is the better they can see through that.
Your original question was how we control the urges; urge to be with animals, I'd find a way to legitimately be around animals I guess. I never had this problem being brought up surrounded by them.
Urge to touch particular animals. Here I can help. There was a bitch before I met Tippy that a friend of my grandfather owned that I really liked. I always wanted to properly 'meet' her and spend some time visiting with her. The man didn't like her touched for some unknown reason and would keep her locked in his truck when at our farm, so I couldn't. My answer to the problem was fantasy. Best I could do. Not really satisfying, but a stop-gap. Fantasy with an individual is strong though. Fantasy in general isn't.
Urge to have sex. Answer to that is either have sex, or be frustrated. The urge is too strong to fantasize away. Think of some ugly image in the short term, in the long term you suffer. It's no different for the non-zoo. Really none of these urges are, except to have "human" replacing "animal" in the urge.
sw
06-10-2018, 09:29 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-10-2018, 09:30 PM by Cat.)
Quote:
1 hour ago, silverwolf1 said:
Your original question was how we control the urges; urge to be with animals, I'd find a way to legitimately be around animals I guess. I never had this problem being brought up surrounded by them.
Urge to touch particular animals. Here I can help. There was a bitch before I met Tippy that a friend of my grandfather owned that I really liked. I always wanted to properly 'meet' her and spend some time visiting with her. The man didn't like her touched for some unknown reason and would keep her locked in his truck when at our farm, so I couldn't. My answer to the problem was fantasy. Best I could do. Not really satisfying, but a stop-gap. Fantasy with an individual is strong though. Fantasy in general isn't.
Urge to have sex. Answer to that is either have sex, or be frustrated. The urge is too strong to fantasize away. Think of some ugly image in the short term, in the long term you suffer. It's no different for the non-zoo. Really none of these urges are, except to have "human" replacing "animal" in the urge.
sw
Pretty much you are right, I assume that non zoos are the same way around this age regarding sexual needs.
With virtually no shelter, no strays, and very little animals around other than other's people pets it is very hard for me to have contact with any animals I can only fantasize.
The problem is that it is very disruptive, daydreaming and everything; and given that I want more than sex, it makes it for lenghty wasting of time cuddling a pillow.
|
