Looks like I'm a pretty different kinda zoo...

[CognitiveDance]

Hi there. In the Roll Call thread, I mentioned being pretty different from most of you. <a contenteditable="false" data-ipshover="" data-ipshover-target="<___base_url___>/profile/2912-cervids/?do=hovercard" data-mentionid="2912" href="<___base_url___>/profile/2912-cervids/">@cervids</a> asked me to clarify, but then <a contenteditable="false" data-ipshover="" data-ipshover-target="<___base_url___>/profile/1-silverwolf1/?do=hovercard" data-mentionid="1" href="<___base_url___>/profile/1-silverwolf1/">@silverwolf1</a> suggested moving further discussion of that to a separate thread to keep the Roll Call on topic, so here I am.

On 7/7/2019 at 11:49 PM, CognitiveDance said:




The first difference is also the way I'm different from what seems like most people. I'm not a dog person, in any way. I'm also not much of a cat person, horse person, or common livestock/pet person in general. To varying degrees. Goats are pretty cute, all birds are beautiful in some way, but horses and dogs might be among my very least favorite animals. The species I do find extraordinarily beautiful are also the ones I'm a lot less likely to pet anytime soon. Like komodo dragons and crocodiles. Damn, those crocodiles. I could stare at them all day.




The second difference is, I think I'm just not built for a typical relationship with a non-human. To be in a relationship with a non-human usually just means owning them, and that in turn means absolute responsibility. I really don't like the idea of being solely responsible for anything at all. I wouldn't even want to be in a monogamous relationship with a fellow human for this reason. They would be their own, self-reliant person, but I would still be the only one to satisfy some subset of their emotional needs. I wouldn't want that. I wouldn't want to worry about them being unfulfilled if I'm ever unavailable for whatever reason. And that's just a relationship with an equal. But being a caretaker of someone with less mental capacity and/or a huge language barrier? It's been arduous enough trying to feed medicine to a family pet who's hopelessly incapable of comprehending that this is for their own good. I can only imagine how much more frustrating it would have been if the animal in question was someone I was a lot emotionally closer too.




But to end on a more pleasant note, the third difference is that I'm not too upset with the lack of prospects that my situation means. I feel what I feel, but it's not a strong enough urge to make me feel sad or desperate about being unable to satisfy it. If I have to confine myself to fiction for my entire life, so be it. There's a certain beauty to that too.

 




So that's what I am. Basically mostly asexual, which I find to be a very useful catch-all for various non-standard kinds of sexual attractions people may not need or want to know about. But also asexual in a more standard way, as I don't have much of a sexual drive. If I can get involved in something sexual, cool. If I can't, no biggie. Sometimes I spend time on furry porn sites just to platonically appreciate the content, because I consider it to be a very beautiful aspect of humanity. And there's simply very little there that elicits a strong response from me. I'm just picky like that. Just not in every aspect, considering that most people are attracted to much fewer species than me! [img]<fileStore.core_Emoticons>/emoticons/wink.png[/img]/emoticons/[email protected] 2x" title=";)" width="20" />



I think I'm largely just attracted to otherness. And so it took me a long time to identify either as a zoophile or as a furry, since neither the typical humanoid foxes nor common household and farm species held much of my attention. But some beings, whether it's alligators and other exotic species or xenomorphs and other fictional beasts, can immediately make me feel something deeper. And to a lesser extent, just about all otherness is attractive to me. I find foxes and raccoons appealing just because they're not cats and dogs. I love all birds, reptiles and even invertebrates and fish, because they're so different from mammals and yet they're still living beings.




I think there might be one more thing that makes me like foxes and raccoons. It's that they're wild and self-reliant. I can feel that, despite not being humans, they're capable adult beings. And it's definitely possible to love someone who can't live on their own, to say otherwise would be wrong on many levels, but it's just not the kind of love for me. Platonic or otherwise, which is why I don't really expect to ever have pets or children, either. Maybe unless taking care of them was a collective effort that doesn't require too much devotion from any specific individual. Nuclear families are a really modern thing.




Well, I hope someone finds my perspective interesting.

[heavyhorse]

Thank you for that.  Something to think about.

[cervids]

I mean, I'm not likely to act on my impulses or desires, so I can relate a bit.  I'd still call myself a zoophile, but that's possibly a personal choice more than anything.

[silverwolf1]

What I found interesting was your seemingly ready acceptance of your situation more than your attractions. You'll find, and I hope some will be brave enough to post in this thread, that your list of attractions is not all that unique among us, but it does cause quite a bit of anxiety and depression for zoos who feel them. A word or two on how you've come to accept your's might be helpful.




Beyond that. I guess I'd be your definition of asexual as well now, though at least I've 'tasted the bitter wine'. After Tippy died, I fought my sex drive, trying to be celibate because I thought I owed her that but it didn't work. Even before I fell in love with Shadow I had urges. After Shadow died though. Something slowly died in me 6 years ago with her, more than my desire to be romantically with anyone else, but also my desire to be physically with anyone else. Not like I really try though.




That's where my point leads, a different kind of zoo. I've always felt the outsider in the community too. I don't really "love" species as a whole. The truth is, I find most dogs pretty un-appealling sexually, and the breeds that seem to be most popular as mates really turn me off. Even so, among breeds I find attractive I'm not likely to be wowed by most of them. I stress that I love individuals, not species, and that's true. I've had 4 deep loves in my 57 years, 1 a human who got killed, 3 dogs who've died natural deaths, but all who I loved for who they were not what they were. Yet that doesn't make me unique, most zoo's (and most humans) do this. I just feel the outsider at times. The same goes for you. It's a natural feeling when you're already an 'outsider' among humans in general. Here's where you fit in, an oddball like the rest of us with some commonalities. Maybe more than you thought.




sw

[Eagle]

I am fairly asexual as well.  And, yeah, as Silverwolf said, it does cause a lot of depression, anxietal stress and the like.  I also have no shortage of friction with "most zoos."

[Edog91]

We are all different in some way, I mostly favor dogs but I am not opposed to falling in love with other species. Most of all I seek a companion that can  reciprocate my love and need to hold and  cuddle with.  But atm I am just living life 1 day at a time until i can find that 1 dog, deer, bear or reptile  I could spend my life with.