Therapy, thoughts on Zoo disclosure.

[PointBlanks]

I've been going to therapy off and on for some time and I thought I'd share some of my observations... It's going on 5 years now and overall I have seen an improvement in my quality of life. Most of what I've been learning fall into the CBT / DBT approach. Mostly mindfulness and 'parts' work. 




I know many have a kneejerk reaction to the benefits of therapy, and that's fine. It's helped me and if there is any incling where you think you'll benefit then I encourage you try it. At that point you're already in the right mindset for it. 




Now as far as Zoo disclosure goes I will say that I've disclosed it to my therapist. I had a particularly devestating event happen and he needed to know my perspective rather than the 'normal' one I had been portraying. The client / patient privacy does protect me in this particular instance to a certain extent. No 'person' has been hurt or is in danger so it's protected privacy. His livelyhood and years of schooling ride on his ability to preserve that privacy. Otherwise his career would not go well. Also Ive not been so stupid as to show him physical evidence of my actions, it's only talking if something did come out. 




So since he knows, the question becomes... Was it worth it? Well... I would say no in my case. Afterword I've found it hard to take his advice completely to heart since I feel he doesn't really understand 'zoo' struggles. About the closest he can relate to are the LGBT difficulties in finding partners and developing a 'happy place' in the world. I don't know that I could completely trust a non-zoo who doesn't understand how villafied our existence has become. Also worth mentioning is now there is a gut feeling within myself that I can no longer trust he's being honest with me with his thoughts and opinions. FWIW Don't let my experience decide what you end up doing if your in a similar situation. Sometimes things need to be brought to light. 




So what do you think? Have you been in therapy yourself and maybe discussed your 'zoo-ness'? What benefits or downfalls came of it? 




 

[heavyhorse]

15 hours ago, PointBlanks said:




So since he knows, the question becomes... Was it worth it? Well... I would say no in my case.

No good can come of disclosure, at least in RL.




That's what this place is for-- .

[PointBlanks]

6 hours ago, heavyhorse said:




No good can come of disclosure, at least in RL.




That's what this place is for-- .

I have to agree with you to an extent. There are some topics that just don't hit the same way talking thru text here vs in person... 




Thankfully I've got a group of IRL zoo friends to talk face to face with about that stuff. Not that I expect them to help any, but sometimes relating and commiserating helps. ?

[WinterGreenWolf]

I ultimately think your 'exposure' was a good thing in the vein of honesty, why? Simple, you get the weight off your chest, and he gets more experiences with being contronted with someone who has a very much looked down upon Paraphilia.




In my own experience (not with therapy) even the most hardened people have a bit of an issue understanding our positions. I was lucky to have a couple really good friends I could put perspective to with the subject. Telling them 'It's like you think of your wife or significant other'. I can also understand his 'LGB Perspective' imposition, as the two pathways (ours and theirs) share a surprising context overlap. Even dealt with the same struggles and we still do, even though the underpinnings and issues are different.




IMHO one thing you're suffering from here is the same thing I suffered from when first going 'public', paranoia and WELL deserved paranoia and care. You're worried that the fella will turn on you, try to open you up too far too fast, and 'get dirt'. Like I said, after our history and public relations this is a perfectly acceptable fear too.




I don't understand therapy settings in detail having never gone, but when he seems stumped or possibly misconstruing something; try to explain it to him if possible, don't retract. A GOOD therapist worth their salt will be just as receptive and as active in the process as the patient is expected. The schooling is just for the license and in-depth diagnosis criteria, it doesn't 'instill' the mindset of a therapist; that you need on your own and it's a specific personality type that lends itself to it.




As an aside: I'm glad therapy is helping you, that's the point. You also realize it takes time, something many people seem to forget these days.