Soooo... I'm at this apple orchard today, and I see this really cute Golden bitch I just couldn't take my eyes off of. I mean, she was Hot! and she knew she was too! She was working to get my attention as much as she could from about a hundred feet away, flagging me and rolling over and such, and just being a pretty dog and though I wasn't "going for it" I was still drawn to watching intently. You just couldn't not.
Anyway.. I'm walkin' along, starin' at her 'cause I'm too dumb not to, oblivious to the fact that I've broken right through several bands of bright yellow "caution" tape and I drop straight down into an old dug well in front of the Owner and several others who're yellin' at me to watch out! As they're pullin' me out I glance up at the dog, now sitting and swishing that long silky tail on the ground, and notice there's no-one or nothing else in her direction I could claim to have been watching when the farmer pipes in with a "Do ya want her number? HAHAHA!"
I can't be embarrassed. I limped over and petted her, winked at the farmer and left...without my apples.
silverwolf
FUNNY! Let me tell you one of mine: at a horse show there was a female rider riding a horse, and I said "Beautiful BAY" to which my friend said yes "beautiful BABE"!
This was something I had to learn in adolescence. I caught whispers about my painfully obvious, er, distraction, in the presence (or even just within eyesight) of certain members of non-human species. I had to make myself think of miserable experiences, the dentist chair and my wisdom teeth, my ever-present test anxiety, my awful part-time 90-cents-per-hour job (hint: food service, after closing).
I was pretty sure I would explode the first time I followed a farm-owner's Great Dane bitch up to their house. She was the first female Dane I had ever seen in person. The owner met his wife and commented "I don't think he's interested in the jenny he came to see, but he'd buy the dog"......
This actually happened.
Electric Co. meter reader was out by the pole, when I let Soffie back out and let her into the pasture.
So I made a meme out of it.
![[Image: dd81a1d5231c45b6ff15013f7a6fb8ef.jpg.4ab...f8632e.jpg]](https://zoowg.org/uploads/monthly_2020_10/dd81a1d5231c45b6ff15013f7a6fb8ef.jpg.4ab01f9cde036f4963d1de6396f8632e.jpg)
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7 hours ago, heavyhorse said:
This was something I had to learn in adolescence.
I swear, as I get older I get dumber! I don't know what had me staring so hard and longingly, or being so obvious about it. Especially me.
I don't claim to be a stone or a paragon or anything, but I do know who I want and she ain't here. I see others every day, but usually a quick, appreciative glance or maybe two does fine. Yesterday, a bitch in heat has me and a bushel of hand picked Gypsies at the bottom of a well! LOL!
I stood at the fence this morning talking to the girls, and told them about it. Misty threw her head back and whinnied, then snorted in my face. The others snorted and whinnied and pawed the ground. Then she reared back and whinnied again at me, a big old laugh, and ran off, leading the other laughing mares behind her. I think they're havin' a big old laugh on the Boss.. or is Misty the Boss? Oh, well, that's another story.
sw
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25 minutes ago, silverwolf1 said:
I swear, as I get older I get dumber! I don't know what had me staring so hard and longingly, or being so obvious about it. Especially me.
Oh, I learned long ago to keep my bulge under control. But I still have to be careful to keep the truck on the road on occasion. We may get old, but we ain't dead.....
This goes back a bit. Me and dad where helping one of the neighbors, as the guy had hurt himself somehow. I'm out in the goat pen throwing feed when the guys mare in another pen just starts rubbing her hindquarters on the fence. Tail up and winking every time she stops before starting to rub again. I'm so fixated on the sight that I don't hear dad or the guy walk up on me.
Old man said something along the lines of "your boys gwaking at her so hard, you know he wants to fuck her."
Scard the hell out of me so bad that they had walked up on me like that that I spun around so fast, I tripped over the hay bail next to me and ended face first in the water trough.
So I'm spitting and sputtering, trying to get my wood to go down, and they are laughing their asses off. And dad's not helping as him and the guy are joking back and forth saying shit like. "Think you need a son-in-law, he make that girl a good husband," and "boys always thinking with their pecker."
My wife found a pair of my underwear in the barn last month... she asked what they were doing there. My clever comeback... "No idea. I guess they were in some of my gear when I got back from vacation and put stuff away."
Note to self - stop wearing underwear.
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2 hours ago, ferritlove said:
My wife found a pair of my underwear in the barn last month... she asked what they were doing there. My clever comeback... "No idea. I guess they were in some of my gear when I got back from vacation and put stuff away."
Note to self - stop wearing underwear.
Yeah you got to be careful. Also got to worry about horse/goat/sheep/dog hair in your underwear if someone else does the laundry,
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13 hours ago, ferritlove said:
My wife found a pair of my underwear in the barn last month... she asked what they were doing there. My clever comeback... "No idea. I guess they were in some of my gear when I got back from vacation and put stuff away."
Note to self - stop wearing underwear.
Other note to self -- Keep everything within arm's reach. Always.
I had left my clothes on the overhead in the feed room when I went to the stalls. Then quite naturally someone came by. While I had cleverly planned my escape in that event, there was still no clear path to my clothing, and they would find me if they went for hay.
I claimed an unfortunate bowel-related emergency, and would they throw my clothes and a feed sack over the manger, please?
And I've been "going commando" for decades. Less binding up "down there".
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